Resuming a Resume

After being at home raising kids for the past 25 years, I am looking for a part-time job. All I’m looking for is some entry-level, part-time work somewhere, so I never thought that having a resume would be necessary. It turns out that this was one of the many things I don’t know about getting a job in the 21st century.

My last job was actually in the last century! I know enough to not put that on a resume. I worked in an office in 1991, which allowed me to hone a pretty special skill-set. I’m talking adding machine (including changing the roll of paper), electric typewriter proficiency, filing actual paper into actual folders, and I am swift and sure with a microfiche machine. I can do carbon copies in triplicate and answer up to five telephone lines.peggy-olson

Okay, so no one is going to hire me based on these abilities, however impressive. I will have to rely on the skills I have learned living life and raising kids. What have I learned? What do I have to offer someone out there in the world? I’ve thought about it a lot and I came up with a list.

  1. Making lists. I make thorough lists, especially if I dread doing the things on the list.
  2. Conflict resolution: Raising six kids will turn even the most average human into King Solomon. I’ve never had to cut anything in half, but neither did he. Because we both knew how to make this work. (What was that other woman going to do with half a baby anyway?)
  3. Anticipating needs: I am practically clairvoyant in this area. If I just mopped, a 2- liter of something will need me to clean it up within the next 24 hours. Did I just sit down? Someone will be out of toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom. (See also #5)
  4. Troubleshooting: 46 years on the planet has taught me some things the hard way. Don’t close the bathroom door if you are going to put lotion on your hands. Butter will make a band-aid slide off pain-free. A hair straightener is as good as an iron in a pinch.
  5. Allocation of resources: I locate and resupply the toilet paper every time. Every time.
  6. Negotiating: You get to go to your room. You get to sit down and hush. Something for everyone.
  7. Human resources: Like most moms, I can size a person up by the state of their shoes and hair. This will certainly be as helpful to someone else as it has been to me.
  8. Project management: I hid a candy bar and a $5 bill in your room. If you clean up long enough, you will find them. Nice doing business with you.
  9. Budgeting: I have put together three weddings with virtually no money whatsoever. Need a cheap but beautiful wedding. I got you. Need a Halloween costume? Pick what you want to be and I can make it happen without buying a thing.

Moms learn a lot being moms. It’s boot camp, trial-by-fire, on-the-job training. According to articles on the internet, moms should include these skills when making a resume. According to other articles on the internet, moms should not try to be cute by listing these soft skills on a resume. Sigh…Hang in there Mommas. Even if these skills are never recognized by the marketplace, their value in the lives of your children can’t be measured. We may not look good on paper, but we do God’s work.