is already taken

I am a selfish, lazy mother. It’s true. Worse than that, I think you should be too. Any of you out there that are mothers or ever plan on being a mother, listen to what I have stumbled upon in my nearly twenty years of parenting.

There is a law of nature at work in all relationships. You all have that woman in your group of friends that is giving and nice and always puts others first. You also know that guarantees that she will have a troublesome mother, sister, best friend or boyfriend. In the world of parents, nice, giving mommy translates into selfish, terrorist children in this same way.

Now I didn’t set out to be selfish and lazy for the good of my children. I was just born that way. This has always been in my nature. It just needed the proper outlet. When I became a mother, my purpose was clear. I was to use these traits that are so disagreeable in me, to raise the next generation to be thoughtful, generous children.

Years of tradition and religion back me up here. Every religious tradition or even pagan culture, puts an emphasis on honoring your elders. This is the supreme goal of a selfish parent. Honor me, serve me!

Of course, I’ve stepped over the line to the ridiculous, but it is not as far off-base as it may seem. My true observation is that the children being raised in this child-centered society are not very nice children. I used to feel bad about insisting on my rights with my children, but one day I watched a child grab food off his mother’s plate and eat it. His mother was one of those nice, perky moms with a voice one octave higher than mine. She wasn’t even fazed by this. However, it wasn’t long until this child was grabbing food off the other children’s plates. This is where the lesson plays out.

My child would not grab food off another child’s plate because if this happened at my house, I would say, “Hey – that is mine” , not, “Oh here honey, can I get you something else?”  This is the gist of honoring your parents.  How many of us had to get up if our dad came in while we were in his chair? Things like this teach us to view others with respect in the home, the preschool, the high school, or the conference room. We are, after all, trying to teach kids how to be adults and no one makes you the center of their world at school or work. Children should not be taught to expect this because of what they have seen at home.

God always works through our failings, shortcomings and human nature. I couldn’t be more thankful to see His grace at work in my home. So when you think you are a bad parent or would be a bad parent, stop and think about how you can love a child by teaching them to respect and honor you. I know this works well, because I like my kids and they like me. We respect each other. We enjoy spending time together. Kids do not have to take over your life. They can add so much to your life and the lives of others, if you let God work in you with all your strengths and your weaknesses. He is the master at using us as we are, jars of clay, for His glory.

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