It has been a crazy couple of weeks at my house. My husband started a new full-time job, after being self-employed from home for two years. Our water heater was on the fritz so he had to spend his first free weekend working on that. This led to a plumbing problem, which led to a basement flood, which led to a massive clean-up for me when the weekend was over. I have wanted to get some exercise and get things cleaned up. I got a lot of both.
When things go wrong in your life, big or small, you learn who your friends are. Friends make up the silver lining of any dark cloud. I had friends who were very caring and helpful. I even learned the benefit of sharing my problems. In this case, whining to a friend on the phone allowed her to offer her three dehumidifiers that were so helpful in drying out our basement. Who knew she was the owner of three dehumidifiers? She did, and I’m glad I shared our problem so we could receive her help.
I miss my friends. I have really buckled down over the holidays and after, getting all the shopping done, getting back to school here, and staying in because the weather is so grim. I have a great group of ladies that I can count on. I don’t talk to any one person everyday, but I know I could if I needed to. I used to think I needed that one best friend to do anything and everything with, but I have learned that no one person can be all that for you and you can’t be that for them. When it comes to friends, it takes a village.
If my friends were a village, it would be the best village ever. My friend with the secret stash of dehumidifiers is so upbeat and smiling and sweet. This is in great contrast to my sensible, cynical self. Her presence is a reminder to act as open and friendly as I feel on the inside, like she does.
I have, not one, but two friends who will let me know if the people on Fox news say it is time to climb out of this handbasket of a world that is headed to Hell. They are on top of what is going on which allows me to keep my head happily in the sand most of the time. These two ladies also are packing. As in carry and conceal. So, you know, they’ve got my back, and yours too if you want.
I have a friend that I have been close to since the 9th grade. She was in my wedding and I was in hers. I still go and see her and relax in her beautiful home. We pick up where we left off, even though it takes some time to figure out where that was. She never feels the need to mentor me or for me to mentor her. We are equals that go way back and it is a great way to relate to each other. With her I have history and a million stories that I treasure.
My church friends have a special place in the village. Then there are my friends who like to watch the shows I watch or listen to the music I love. There are friends who can and will edit my writing for me. (Is “shout out” one word or two and is it hyphenated?) I even have a friend who has more kids than I do, a truly super mom. I have a friend I met on Facebook.
We did not meet in person until almost three years later but it was as if we had always known each other. My sisters are my friends. My oldest girls are adults now and they are my friends as well. My mom is a one of my friends, the one I have had the longest. My husband is my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
All this rambling about my friends is meant to celebrate them at a time when I realize I need to make an effort to stay close to them and to be a good friend in return. As far as how it pertains to raising children, it is very important for moms to have friends and maintain those relationships. Did you know that the same great hormone released during breastfeeding, eating, or lovemaking, is also released during a good long talk? Women are wired to be together and be at ease with each other. Friendships are not a luxury for your rare girls-night-out events. We should have healthy, ongoing relationships with other women for our good and for theirs. I”m reluctant to say that something is good for your kids just because it is good for you as a mom, but this is true about good friendships.
In a Biblical village, the women would gather at regular intervals to gather water or do chores together. We don’t get enough chances to see each other these days, so we have to do what we can to see our friends. Even if Facebook is the closest thing we have these days to the village square, it is a great way to let a friend know you care and are thinking about her. It is also a great way to make a plan to see each other in person. So, check in with your village of friends. If you have three friends or thirty, they will be glad to hear from you.
Thank you to all the friends who helped or offered to help during our mini-crisis. It’s so good to know you are so willing to lend a hand. We love you all.